Teddy Bear
by Waltz195
Summary: The infamous Perfect Soldier finds himself battling for Relena's affections. With the help of the other former Gundam pilots, he vows revenge. Will he defeat this new enemy?


Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters belong to Sotsu, Sunrise, and Bandai. I'm just a poor anime fan. P

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**Teddy Bear**  
_by Waltz195_

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A shadowed figure perched in a tree outside a well-fashioned mansion, his dark gaze focused on one particular window, which would soon be lit by its presently absent occupant. He was unaware of the slight sounds of the night or the pale cast of the moon, so intent was his concentration.

He remained crouching in his hiding place, never wavering, ever vigilant of his charge. Even as the loss of circulation of blood caused all feeling to cease in his lower limbs, he was ready to move into action at a moment's notice.

His senses perked up as the room was soon flooded with light. A young woman entered, closing the door behind her. He followed her with his eyes, content in seeing her in the safety of her own sanctuary.

As she moved to shed her clothing, he discreetly turned his head away, a dark flush briefly spreading across his face. He may have total anonymity, but he wasn't a voyeur. He waited several minutes before carefully turning back to his post.

She sat at her vanity, now dressed in a full-length nightgown, calmly brushing her dark blond hair. As he listened, his sensitive hearing picked up her soft, musical humming. He relaxed once again, a peaceful feeling coming over him as he counted the brushstrokes she made.

Though he cared deeply for her, he couldn't quite find the right words to express his feelings, much less tell her of them. So, he remained a spectator, never truly a part of her life. Just watching her was enough for him, though sometimes he longed to be the one to caress her golden tresses.

Under his sharp gaze, the young woman stood and proceeded towards her bed. She shut off all the lights, except for one small lamp upon her bedside drawer. Despite the lack of light, his keen sense of sight could see her clearly as she slipped into bed, drawing the covers over her. He began to relax, until he saw her reach for something, or rather _someone_.

His eyes narrowed as he watched her turn over and embrace a figure next to her, one he had failed to notice before. He became worried when she began stroking the figure's blond-brown hair, no doubt whispering sentimental things into his ear. His anger peaked when she placed a gentle kiss upon his nose and he tensed at her quiet giggling.

He stewed in his fury and watched as she finally fell asleep. He waited a few moments before skillfully jumping from the tree. He landed soundlessly and disappeared into the dark shadows of the nearby woods.

"How dare he!" The young man cursed, taking his anger out on a nearby tree. "Taking the affections of the woman I lo-...well, more than like! The fiend!"

He stomped all over the place, leaving heavy boot prints in the soft woodland grass. He was a man one should strive not to cross. Heaven help the poor soul who did.

"The ingrate! The scoundrel!" He rambled on. "I am more a man than he'll ever be. I will not tolerate this...this insult!"

Turning abruptly, he made his way past the woods, angry and intent, a plan quickly formulating in his mind.

"I will not allow that tenderfoot to better me. I'll show her which one of us is the best!" With that, he disappeared into the night.

The next night...

"Oh, bother!" Relena grumbled angrily. "This treaty is as long as Duo's braid! It'll take all night to finish this."

The Vice Foreign Minister of the ESUN continued her grumbling, grudgingly flipping through the pages of the latest treaty proposal, already tired from reading the hundred paged document. Glancing aside at her table clock, she saw it was already past ten o'clock, her usually quitting time.

Standing from her desk, she stretched her back, cringing at the pains of sitting for nearly three hours. She turned and left the office, firmly closing and locking the door behind her. She would continue the rest of the paperwork tomorrow. Right now she only wanted her soft bed and her _koibito_.

Relena smiled. Thinking about him always made her feel better. He was her comfort when she felt sad, a caring shoulder to lean on, and a very good listener. Being with him at night made her sleep all the more restful. How she loved him so.

She made her way upstairs and entered her bedroom, filling the room with light as she switched the lights on. Looking to the bed, she saw her _koibito_ already waiting for her, his face relaxed and expectant. She smiled again and waved lovingly.

"I'll be right there." Relena called to him, entering the bathroom.

A few moments later, she emerged wearing her usual full-length nightgown. She headed over to the bed and started to reach for the light when she heard a peculiar scratching sound coming from outside.

Glancing briefly at her _koibito_, she carefully went to the window and peered outside into the night. She was greeted by a strange, _strange_ sight.

Beneath her window, there seemed to be five young men, huddled together around a group of objects. And the strangest thing was, she thought they looked like the Gundam pilots. But one of them looked so..._odd_.

"Well?" Heero asked, tightening the cap around his forehead. "Have all mission parameters been met?"

Around him, his former comrades nodded hesitantly. They were wondering at the sanity of their friend, but hey, this was Heero. He had a good reason for everything...most of the time.

"Sound system, check." Duo answered, patting the gigantic speakers beside him. They were as tall as he was.

"Uh...instrument, check." Quatre wondered why he was there at all, holding a violin in his hand. "Heero, don't you think-?"

"Not now, Quatre." Heero cut him off, sliding his hands into large fitted gloves. "Trowa? The animals?"

The tall circus performer merely lifted a brow and nodded towards a tree, where two shadowy creatures were tied securely.

"Wufei." Heero called to the final pilot. "The lighting?"

"Check!" Wufei grumbled angrily. "Darned weakling...why do I...this is stupid!"

"Alright. Mission in progress." Heero signaled the others to take their places, which they did, grudgingly, before climbing up into a tree. The mission was underway.

Relena watched the events with great confusion and couldn't even begin to understand what was happening. Suddenly, a floodlight came on below her window, illuminating the area the pilots had just vacated. Before she could react, music began to play and she couldn't believe what happened next.

Heero Yuy, acclaimed Gundam pilot and creator of the Death Glare, jumped down from the tree and landed squarely in the center of the light. But it was what he was wearing that completely shocked her.

Completely outfitted with fluffy, tan brown fur and a cute red bow, Heero Yuy was the ultimate cuddly stuffed toy. A teddy bear! 0()0

Just as Relena was overcoming the shock from his appearance, he started to sing, which was a surprise in itself! Relena almost fainted as the words came forth from his mouth.

_Baby let me be,  
your lovin_'_ Teddy Bear  
Put a chain around my neck,  
and lead me anywhere_

Then, the other gundam pilots assembled from the shadows, each with a different purpose.

Quatre was playing his violin along with the music, cringing at each resounding note. Trowa led around a large male tiger and a dusky male lion, acting surprisingly normal. Duo and Wufei were less than enthusiastic, singing backup with grim looks upon their faces. This was indeed _beyond_ strange.

Heero continued singing.

_Oh let me be (Oh let him be)  
Your teddy bear _

Needless to say, by this time Relena had given up trying to guess what was going on and stared down at them blankly as Heero proceeded with the next verse.

_I don't wanna be a tiger  
Cause tigers play too rough _

On cue, Trowa led the tiger in front of Heero, who made refusing gestures with his large paws. The tiger looked at him strangely.

_I don't wanna be a lion  
'Cause lions ain't the kind  
You love enough _

Trowa then lead the lion around, wondering at the psychological impact the event would have on the poor beast.

Heero stuck his tongue out at the lion and turned to Relena's window, his paws forming a heart on his chest. She blinked as he sung the next chorus.

_Just wanna be, your Teddy Bear  
Put a chain around my neck  
and lead me anywhere _

Heero made a leading motion and hopped around on one foot. Relena couldn't help but laugh. He looked surprisingly cute; if one excluded his clearly disturbing behavior.

The others were becoming exceedingly embarrassed by Heero's movements, but proceeded to sing backup. He would owe them _big_ time.

_Oh let me be (Oh let him be)  
Your teddy bear _

Heero sang on, wrapping his furry arms around himself and proceeded to confess his emotions to the woman above.

_Baby let me be, around you every night  
Run your fingers through my hair,  
And cuddle me real tight  
Oh let me be (Oh let him be)  
Your teddy bear_

"Man, this sucks!" Duo muttered, trying desperately to plug his ears. "He's really gone whack this time!"

Wufei threw down his microphone and ranted at them all. "This is weak! Yuy is weak! You are all weak!"

At this point, all hell broke loose.

_I don't wanna be a tiger  
Cause tigers play too rough _

Hearing the Chinese man's tirade, the tiger broke away from Trowa and leapt after him, angered by his tone of voice. Wufei ran for his life, screaming about the injustice of it all.

_I don't wanna be a lion  
'Cause lions ain't the kind _

The tiger's escape threw Trowa off-balance and he careened into the lion, causing the great beast to roar with pain. The lion scrambled around the yard, dragging the helpless pilot behind him.

_You love enough_

By now, Quatre was seriously disturbed. The combination of the music and sheer insanity of it all triggered the dormant Zero system induced part of his brain. In short, he snapped.

The blond young man dropped his violin and scrambled into the night, screaming about bloody tea bags and teddy bear murders. "You will all pay!"

Heero noticed none of this and continued to sing.

_Just wanna be, your Teddy Bear  
Put a chain around my neck  
and lead me anywhere  
Oh let me be (Oh let him be)  
Your teddy bear _

By this time, Wufei had been chased up a tree, the tiger chewing on one of his black slippers. Trowa had been thrown from the lion's back and now lay unconscious. The lion, in the meantime, chased after Duo, intrigued by his long braid. And Quatre was in his Gundam Sandrock, miraculously restored for its current purpose, ransacking a toy store in the unsuspecting little town nearby.

_Oh let me be (Please let him be)_

"For the love of Nataku! _Just let him be_-AH!" Wufei cried out as the tiger bit into his rear end. "INJUSTICE!"

_Your teddy bear _

As chaos ensued behind him, Heero smiled up at Relena, finishing the song with heart-felt fervor.

_I just wanna be your teddy bear!_

ROAR! CRASH! BOOM!

And with that, the horror and insanity ended. Heero remained where he was as the others ran for their lives, dragging a still unconscious Trowa behind them. Relena, having witnessed it all, stood at her window, gazing lovingly down at him, hearts and sparkles in her eyes.

"Heero..."

"Relena..."

"Get it over with!" The others screamed, far far away.

Relena reached out to him, a smile upon her face. Heero jumped into the nearest tree, and despite his large costume, managed to land deftly onto her windowsill and dropped into her room.

"Oh, Heero!" Relena proclaimed, hugging him tightly. "That was the most beautiful serenade! Thank you!"

Heero mumbled incoherently, blushing at her close proximity. "It was nothing."

Relena pulled him aside and led him towards the bed. "Of course you can be my teddy bear, Heero. There's room enough in my heart for you and _koibito_!" She gestured to the light-colored teddy bear that occupied her bed.

Heero's eyes narrowed upon his enemy. The one who he fought with for Relena's affections. The traitorous fiend! He should have never given her that bear.

"Hold on while I get you an extra blanket." Relena disappeared into the bathroom, leaving the two foes alone.

Glancing at the bed, Heero pulled out his handgun (from wherever it was he kept it), and quickly shot the other bear, smirking with satisfaction as its stuffing exploded and dropped from the bed. "Target removed."

He quickly hid the gun, as Relena came back out, an extra bed sheet in her hands.

"Where's _koibito_?" she asked him, wondering at the smaller bear's disappearance.

"He had to go visit his cousin in the Hundred Acre Woods." Heero told her, his face blank.

Relena looked at him strangely but didn't say a word. "Alright. Here, you can stay with me."

As if his dream had come true, Heero found himself laying beside Relena in the bed, her arms wrapped tightly around his cuddly, fur-covered form.

Yes, sir. Mission Accomplished.

"Uh, Relena...you're holding my neck...kinda tight...I...can't...breathe..."

_I just wanna be your teddy bear!_

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Author's Notes: Disturbed? So was I. P Don't worry, Heero' s okay. Just a little oxygen depravation. Nothing major...

Anyway, this was all just pure insane 1xR fluff, inspired by the Elvis Presley song "Teddy Bear", while it was playing on the radio. It was bound to happen, with all the references to the teddy bear he gave her at the end of the series. Heero would look so kawaii, don'tcha think? Oops, better run while I still can! hehe Hope you enjoyed it! R/R please! - _Waltz195_


End file.
